As we all know I see a lot of theatre. It’s an odd week where I don’t see at least 3 shows. Last week I saw 7 shows including 2 days with 2 shows. Given that amount it might surprise you to hear that being an audience member can actually be a bit of a struggle for me. Not only do I have lower back pain and am a larger woman so seats can be uncomfortable, but I am a pretty severe fidgeter and struggle sometimes to maintain focus and keep my movements to a minimum. This is why I’m such a forgiving audience member of other people’s frailties because I know what it’s like to be an imperfect participant. I also think there is a difference between natural expression and unnecessary behaviors like taking a call in the middle of a show- something I did witness in a black box show I went to a few years ago!
I bring all this up because I believe there is a bit of a battle going on in the theatre community that I don’t know how to solve. It’s a civil war you might say. On one side is the highly distractable patron who wants a quiet serene environment to enjoy their shows. Another side wants to be able to get invested into the piece and respond in a socially acceptable way. The problem is what is acceptable is widely debated. To the easily distracted I hear you. That’s why I try so hard to not be bothersome but on the other hand I don’t think every show should be a church where we can’t be involved or engage. It really is a struggle!
What got me thinking about this again is a tiktok video made by a creator named Tyler Conroy. In the video he shares his experience seeing the new Schmigadoon musical and how fellow audience-members were upset with him over his cheering during applause segments. This wasn’t during the show. It’s not like when I saw Beetlejuice on Broadway and 2 teenage girls sang along the entire show. This was in applause that they were upset with him. Unfortunately it honestly doesn’t surprise me that he had this experience. People critiquing others audience behavior is becoming more of a problem in the world of live theatre. Of course there’s the more outright rudeness but I’ve often seen people complain about other’s laughter (they laugh too loud, have an annoying laugh, they laugh too much or not at the right times,) that they gave a standing ovation or didn’t give a standing ovation, that they thumbed through their programs or made a quick comment to their seat partner etc. You get the idea.
Because of my fidgeting I have a tiny metal fidget spinner that I sometimes have in my hand to help me with my problem. Usually this is fine, but I did have someone lecture me at intermission during the national tour of Hamilton about it and it completely ruined the experience for me. Of course, I put it away but I was embarrassed and honestly couldn’t wait for a show I normally love to be over. It made me hesitant to bring out the spinner again at other shows unless I’m really struggling, which is disappointing for what I thought was a nice solution to difficult problem.
And yet on the same breath you have people getting into fights at Mamma Mia because theatregoers are so rude. I can be sympathetic to the feeling if we give an inch people take a mile. Also when audience-members that are easily distracted have repeated bad experiences it causes them to be on guard and perhaps respond with unkindness to something more benign. Like maybe the lady who lambasted me at Hamilton had been to 3 shows where people had been talking or rude so the movement of my hands was the final trigger? I don’t know but shouldn’t people participating in an artistic creative group experience be above all things patient and kind?
Recently we had the actress Lesley Manville complaining about people taking out their phones during curtain call. While I can be sympathetic to the desire for audiences to stay in the moment a little longer the fact is we don’t get to decide how others absorb art. And we are participating in a group experience so people will manifest said experience differently. Also most of those people are probably trying to help the production with exposure and sharing what part of the show they can with their friends and followers. Obviously if the company specifically asks audiences to not photograph curtain call that’s a different issue but if someone is respectful of the house rules shouldn’t we be as tolerant as possible? Again you don’t get to tell someone else their applause is wrong, their cheering is annoying, their natural expression is too loud etc.
Of course, people who are easily distracted deserve to enjoy theatre too. Maybe a good rule of thumb is if this audience-member was my sister or brother how would I want them to be treated? Is there a kind way to ask for a changed behavior? Is this so offensive it is worth involving ushers or managers? Again, think about how would I want someone I love to be treated and maybe we should treat them that way?
Honestly if it were just up to me I wish we could make live theatre more like a concert. I wish it wasn’t such a stuffy and stifling experience where even in irreverent shows I often feel like I’m at at a library. Even though I don’t drink it was refreshing last year to go to Drunken Shakespeare at a local theatre and relax and just have fun. Evil Dead: The Musical was a revelation for the same reason. That said, I understand it’s not up to me. I have learned over the years what bothers most people, so I try my best to accommodate them and behave in socially acceptable ways. I just wish that others could show me the same forbearance and not trample on my joy of theatre like they did for Tyler at Schmigadoon or me at Hamilton. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I think it is and that makes me sad.
What do you think about this? How much should we be policing audience behavior and how do you respond when someone behaves in a way you don’t like? Can we fix this or are we doomed to being miserable in theatre no matter what side you are on? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments
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